Writer: Keith Champagne

Artist: Tom Nguyen

Colorist: Moose Bauman

Letterer: Zach Matheny

Dynamite Entertainment

Ôï Γ°Γ₯ñÑóìÝíï Γ“ΓœΓ’Γ’Γ‘Γ΄Γ―, ÒñÝèçΓͺΓ‘ Γ¬Γ₯ ÑñΓͺΓ₯ôïýò Ñðü ôïáò áðüëïéðïáò óáíôΓ₯Γ«Γ₯óôÝò ôïá Comicdom.gr, óôï Jemma Mega Blow Out. ÊÑèþò ñß÷íÑìΓ₯ ìéÑ ìÑôéÜ Γ³Γ₯ ðÑëÑéüôΓ₯Γ±Γ‘ Γ΄Γ₯Γ½Γ·Γ§ ΓͺÑé ÀéÜâïñÑ ÜëëÑ ΓͺÑëïýÀéÑ, Γ― Ever-loving editor, ÓÑΓͺÑñßÀçò, Γ³Γ₯ ìéÑ óáæÞôçóç ðïá Γ₯ß÷Γ₯, Γ₯ðéÀΓ₯ßΓͺΓ­Γ΅Γ₯ ôï ðüóï diverse Γ₯ßíÑé ôï Comicdom óôÑ reviews ôïá. Γ‡ âñÜóç ðïá ÷ñçóéìïðïéïýóΓ₯, Γ¬Γ₯ Àýï "ΓͺÑìÝíÑ" comic óôï ÷Ýñé, ÞôÑí "Γ…ΓŸΓ€Γ₯Γ²; ÌÝ÷ñé ΓͺÑé ÑáôÜ Γ₯Àþ Ý÷ïáìΓ₯ ΓͺÜíΓ₯Γ©".

Γ–Γ‘Γ­Γ΄ΓœΓ¦Γ―Γ¬Γ‘Γ© ðùò Γ₯ßíÑé Γ°Γ₯ñéôôü Γ­Γ‘ ÑíÑâÝñù üôé ΓͺÑé ôÑ Àýï "ΓͺÑìÝíÑ" ðÑñÑÀΓ₯ßãìÑôÑ ÞôÑí comics ðïá Γ₯ß÷Ñ ΓͺÜíΓ₯Γ© review Γ₯ãþ Γ― ßÀéïò. Ôï I WAS KIDNAPPED BY LESBIAN PIRATES FROM OUTER SPACE ΓͺÑé ôï UBU BUBU. Γ…Γ°ΓŸΓ³Γ§Γ², Γ­Γ‘ Γ₯ßóôΓ₯ óßãïáñïé üôé èÑ ìðïñïýóΓ₯ Γ­Γ‘ Γ³ΓͺΓ₯ΓΆΓ΄Γ₯ß ÑñΓͺΓ₯ôÜ Γ‘Γͺüìç ðÑñÑÀΓ₯ßãìÑôÑ, ÑðëÜ Γ€Γ₯Γ­ Ýôá÷Γ₯.

OK, ßóùò ΓͺÜðïéïò Γ­Γ‘ ðñïÒëçìÑôéæüôÑí Ñðü Ñáôü. ΒΊΓ³ΓΉΓ² Γ­Γ‘ ÑðïâÜóéæΓ₯ Γ­Γ‘ Γ’Γ₯ëôéþóΓ₯Γ© ôï "image" ôïá ΓΉΓ² reviewer, ΓͺÜíïíôÑò ðéï óïÒÑñÝò ΓͺÑé þñéìΓ₯Γ² Γ₯ðéëïãÝò óôÑ comics ðïá èÑ ΓͺñßíΓ₯Γ©. ÈÑ ðñïôéìïýóΓ₯, Γ¬Γ₯ Àáï ëüãéÑ, ÝíÑ comic ãéÑ review ðïá èÑ ÝâΓ₯Γ±Γ­Γ₯ ÝíÑ ÷ÑìüãΓ₯ëï ÑðïÀï÷Þò óôïí ever-loving, Ñíôß Γ­Γ‘ ðñïóðÑèΓ₯ß Γ­Γ‘ ôïí Γ°Γ₯ßóΓ₯Γ© üôé, "ÝëÑ ìùñÝ, ÜóΓ₯ Γ¬Γ₯ Γ­Γ‘ ôï ΓͺÜíù, ΓͺÑé Γ₯ãþ èÑ Γ³Γ₯ ÑíôÑìΓ₯ßøù".

(Editor's Note: Dude, Γ€Γ₯Γ­ Ý÷Γ₯Γ© ðñüÒëçìÑ Γ― Ever-loving. Γ…Γ�Üëëïá, Γ₯ãþ Γ€Γ₯Γ­ Þìïáí Ñáôüò ðïá âþíÑæΓ₯ ãéÑ diversity Γ₯Γ� Ññ÷Þò, ΓͺÑé Γ₯ðÝìΓ₯Γ­Γ‘ Γ­Γ‘ ôï ΓͺÜíïáìΓ₯ "óçìÑßÑ" ôïá Comicdom; Êé Ñí Γ³Γ―Γ΅ ΓͺÜíù ôï ÀýóΓͺïëï ΓͺÑìéÜ âïñÜ, don't mind me - I'm just messing with you... Γ…Γͺôüò Ñðü ôéò âïñÝò ðïá èÝëΓ₯éò Γ­Γ‘ ΓͺÜíΓ₯éò Zombie comic - this I just can't take!)

ΒΌΓ·Γ©, üìùò, Γ₯ãþ. ÌÝíù óôÑèΓ₯Γ±ΓΌΓ² óôéò Γ‘Γ�ßΓ₯Γ² ìïá ΓͺÑé ÑðïâΓ₯ýãù ôï ëÜΓͺΓͺΓ― ôçò ðñïÒëΓ₯øéìüôçôÑò, Γ₯ðéëÝãïíôÑò ãéÑ Γ₯ðüìΓ₯Γ­Γ― review ìïá ôï ADOLESCENT RADIOACTIVE BLACK BELT HAMSTERS #1 (Ñðü Γ₯Àþ ΓͺÑé ðÝñÑ ARBBH). Γ”Γ―Γ΅Γ«ΓœΓ·Γ©Γ³Γ΄Γ―Γ­, ðÑñÑìÝíù óôÑèΓ₯Γ±ΓΌΓ² ΓͺÑé, óôç Γ·Γ₯éñüôΓ₯Γ±Γ§ Γ°Γ₯ñßðôùóç, ãíùñßæù üôé, Ýóôù ìéÑ óáíÑãùíéóôéΓͺÞ øá÷Þ óôçí ÁããëßÑ èÑ ìïá Γ³Γ΄Γ₯ßëΓ₯Γ© ÝíÑ mail Γ₯íèïáóéÑóìïý (call me Γ“ΓœΓͺΓͺΓ―Γ²).

ÓôÑ ðëÑßóéÑ, ëïéðüí, ôçò "ΓͺÑìÝíçò" ΓͺëçñïíïìéÜò ðïá âñïíôßæù Γ₯ðéìΓ₯ëþò Γ­Γ‘ ÑâÞóù óôï Comicdom, Γ₯íôÜóóΓ₯ôÑé ΓͺÑé ôï ARBBH. Ôï óáãΓͺΓ₯ΓͺñéìÝíï comic ðñùôïΓ₯ΓͺÀüèçΓͺΓ₯ ôï 1986 ΓͺÑé Ý÷Γ₯Γ© ìéÑ ÑñΓͺΓ₯ôÜ Γ₯íÀéÑâÝñïáóÑ éÀéÑéôΓ₯ñüôçôÑ: ÑðïôΓ₯Γ«Γ₯ß ðÑñùÀßÑ ôïá TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES, ôï ïðïßï, Γ¬Γ₯ ôç Γ³Γ₯éñÜ ôïá, ÑðïôΓ₯ëïýóΓ₯ ðÑñùÀßÑ ôïá RONIN. Γ…ΓŸΓ­Γ‘Γ©, ëïéðüí, ðÑñùÀßÑ ìéÑò ðÑñùÀßÑò.

Ôï ðñþôï ôïá run ÝãéíΓ₯ Ñðü ôçí Eclipse Comics, Γ³Γ₯ Γ³Γ₯íÜñéï ôïá Don Chin ΓͺÑé ó÷ÝÀéï ôïá Parsonavich. (Editor's Note: *Chris* Parsonavich. Ôï Γ�Ýñù ðùò ôÑ Γ°Γ₯ñéóóüôΓ₯Γ±Γ‘ internet sources Γ€Γ₯Γ­ ÑíÑâÝñïáí ôï ìéΓͺΓ±ΓΌ ôïá üíïìÑ, ÑëëÜ Γ₯Γ¬Γ₯ßò Γ―Γ© ðÑëéïß ôïí èáìüìÑóôΓ₯ from the old days. *Insert old geezer emoticon here*) ÐñùôÑãùíéóôÝò ÞôÑí ôÝóóΓ₯Γ±Γ‘ hamsters, Γ¬Γ₯ôñ ôùí ðïëΓ₯ìéΓͺΓΎΓ­ Γ΄Γ₯Γ·Γ­ΓΎΓ­: Γ― Bruce, o Chuck, o Clint ΓͺÑé Γ― Jackie (ìðïñΓ₯ßôΓ₯ Γ­Γ‘ ΓͺÑôÑëÜÒΓ₯Γ΄Γ₯ üôé ôÑ ïíüìÑôÑ Γ€Γ₯Γ­ ÞôÑí ôá÷ÑßÑ).

Êé Γ₯Àþ Γ�Γ₯ΓͺéíÜ Γ§ ðñþôç ÑðïãïÞôΓ₯áóç, ΓΌΓ·Γ© ôüóï ãéÑ ôï ßÀéï ôï comic, ΓΌΓ³Γ― ãéÑ ôïáò ÷ÑëΓ₯ðïýò ΓͺÑéñïýò ðïá ÀéÑíýïáìΓ₯. Γ“ΓͺΓ₯ΓΆΓ΄Γ₯ßôΓ₯ üôé óôï íÝï run ôçò Dynamite, Γ―Γ© ðÝíôΓ₯ ðñùôÑãùíéóôÝò ïíïìÜæïíôÑé (Γ¬Γ₯ ôçí ßÀéÑ ðÜíôÑ ëïãéΓͺÞ), Rock, Arnold, Jean Claude, Steven ΓͺÑé Lucy! This is definitely not a time for action heroes!

(Editor's Note: Lucy??? Ôç Xena Γ₯Γ­Γ­Γ―Γ―Γ½Γ¬Γ₯;)

Ôï comic, ðÜíôùò, ðÑôÜΓ₯Γ© óôÑ ßÀéÑ ìïíïðÜôéÑ ðïá ΓͺÑèéÝñùóÑí (ΓͺÑôÜ ΓͺÜðïéïí ôñüðï) ôï ÑáèΓ₯íôéΓͺΓΌ Ýñãï. ×éïýìïñ óôÑ óôÜíôÑñ ôçò ðÑñùÀßÑò Ñôüìùí ΓͺÑé ΓͺÑôÑóôÜóΓ₯ΓΉΓ­ ΓͺÑé ìðüëéΓͺΓ§ ÀñÜóç. ÅðéðëÝïí, ôï ðñþôï issue ΓͺΓ«Γ₯ßíΓ₯Γ© ΓͺÑé Γ¬Γ₯ cliffhanger, Ñâïý, ðñþôÑ, ðïëëÜ ΓͺïñìéÜ Ý÷ïáí ðÝóΓ₯Γ© Γ­Γ₯ΓͺñÜ.

Ï ñáèìüò ôïá ðñþôïá Γ΄Γ₯ý÷ïáò Γ₯ßíÑé ÑñΓͺΓ₯ôÜ ãñÞãïñïò. ¹Àç, Ñðü ôéò ðñþôΓ₯Γ² Γ³Γ₯ëßÀΓ₯Γ² ôïá, ÒëÝðïáìΓ₯ ìéÑ ÑíÑâïñÜ óôçí Ññ÷éΓͺÞ éóôïñßÑ, ãíùñßæïáìΓ₯ ôïáò ÞñùΓ₯Γ², ÑëëÜ ΓͺÑé ôï ðñüÒëçìÑ ðïá ΓͺÑëïýíôÑé Γ­Γ‘ ëýóïáí, ΓͺÑé Γ¬Γ₯ôÜ ÑíÑëùíüìÑóôΓ₯ Γ³Γ₯ Γ³ΓͺçíÝò ÀñÜóçò. Ôï ARBBH #1 ÀéÑÒÜæΓ₯ôÑé ãñÞãïñÑ ΓͺÑé Γ₯á÷ÜñéóôÑ, Γ¬Γ₯ ÝíÑ ÷ÑìüãΓ₯ëï óôï óôüìÑ.

Ôï ó÷ÝÀéï, Ñðü ôçí Üëëç, Γ₯ßíÑé ÑñΓͺΓ₯ôÜ ΓͺÑëü. Γ„Γ₯Γ­ ÑðïôΓ₯Γ«Γ₯ß ΓͺÜôé ôï éÀéÑßôΓ₯Γ±Γ―, ùóôüóï, ãéÑ ôïí Γ³Γͺïðü ðïá Γ₯ðéôΓ₯Γ«Γ₯ß, Γ€Γ₯ Γ·Γ±Γ₯éÜæΓ₯ôÑé ΓͺéüëÑò. Ááôü ðïá Γ·Γ±Γ₯éÑæüôÑí Γ­Γ‘ Γ°Γ₯ôý÷Γ₯Γ© Γ― Tom Nguyen, ÞôÑí hamsters Γ¬Γ₯ ðïíôßΓͺéÑ (Γ—Γ‘! Γ„Γ₯Γ­ Γ₯ß÷Ñ óáíΓ₯éÀçôïðïéÞóΓ₯Γ© ðüóï Γ£Γ₯ëïßï Γ‘ΓͺΓ―Γ½Γ£Γ₯ôÑé ìÝ÷ñé ôç Γ€Γ₯Γ½Γ΄Γ₯Γ±Γ§ âïñÜ ðïá ôóÝΓͺÑñÑ ôï review!), ÷ÑñÑΓͺôçñéóôéΓͺÜ ðïá Γ­Γ‘ âÝñíïáí óôïáò Ñíèñþðïáò, Ñðü ôïáò ïðïßïáò ÀÑíΓ₯ßóôçΓͺÑí ôï üíïìÜ ôïáò ΓͺÑé action scenes Γ¬Γ₯ éðôÜìΓ₯Γ­Γ‘ ΓͺëùôóïìðïáíßÀéÑ.

(Editor's Note: "Hamsters Γ¬Γ₯ ðïíôßΓͺéÑ"... ÔþñÑ ôï ÝðéÑóÑ...)

ÐñüΓͺΓ₯éôÑé, ëïéðüí, ãéÑ ÝíÑ Γ₯á÷Üñéóôï (ΓͺÑé ïëßãïí ôé "ΓͺÑìÝíï", âáóéΓͺÜ) ÑíÜãíùóìÑ, ôï ïðïßï ðñïôΓ₯ßíù ÑíΓ₯ðéâýëÑΓͺôÑ óôïáò ëÜôñΓ₯éò ôçò ðÑñùÀßÑò, ÑëëÜ ΓͺÑé Ñáôïýò ðïá Γ‘Γͺïëïáèïýí ôçí ΓͺëçñïíïìéÜ ôùí comics Γ¬Γ₯ Γͺïíôïýò, æùüìïñâïáò ΓͺÑé ôñé÷ùôïýò action heroes (üðùò ôÑ MICE TEMPLAR, MOUSE GUARD, CEREBUS ΓͺÑé WOLVERINE, Γ¬Γ₯ôÑΓ�Γ½ Üëëùí ΓͺÑé, ôçñïáìÝíùí, ðÜíôÑ, ôùí ÑíÑëïãéþí).